Present Time Consciousness

Present time consciousness: Athletes call it being in the “zone”, I call it “paying attention.” This is a practice I’d like to get better at.  I often find myself drifting off in a daydream to a far away past or to thoughts of the future.  These thoughts are necessary, in the same way that a melody needs notes played before and after the current notes to really be a song. In the same way we must be in the “now” in order to actively participate in the song of own lives.

I digress, I remember making the determination that I liked to sing when I was three years old.  I was in my grandparents family room and a jingle came on the TV that I wanted to mimic with the goal of hitting the high note.  Apparently, my vocal dexterity had not developed and the Mariah Carey-esque note I was trying to achieve sounded more like the shrill holler of a toddler in need to the adults around me.  Grandma asked “What are you doing??” I proudly answered “Singing!” Like most little girls, I was promptly signed up for dance classes and as a result I can stroll pretty smoothly in just about any high heel shoe.  (How to walk in high heels).  (How NOT to walk in high heels).

*Video disclaimer for karma’s sake… I have tripped in public before, in both flats and heels. So there.


Back to the now: Presently, I am a single mom.  I have seven year old twins who love Jesus, and who are brilliant, kind, funny and gorgeous.  I live in a great house in the suburbs that has an amazing story behind it’s acquisition (I’ll tell that story later).  I have a great car because of the great Grandparents (a.k.a. “The Grands”).  I have a job that I (according to the American educational system’s standards) am not qualified for, with awesome employers who have become awesome friends.  I’ve been surrounded by people who really care about me just for the sake of caring.  I don’t appear to the naked eye to be a former junkie-street-runner-rebel, which I am.  My relationships with family have been (almost) fully restored – by the grace of God – after I destroyed them.  I have all of my faculties, minus average  joke telling abilities.  Most importantly – because of God’s grace, I have a relationship with Him.  He did not abandon me, leave me or forsake me, even though I asked Him to.

I am sharing these things with you so that you can know the glory of the Lord in my life as you continue to read my blog in which my not-so-cheery past will be shared.

(Hebrews 11:19) Abraham reasoned that if Isaac died, God was able to bring him back to life again. And in a sense, Abraham did receive his son back from the dead.


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